Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Single White Totebagger Seeks...

Hey ladies! Whaddya think?

This guy ... is he a Totebagger, or just a plain ol' douche?

The thing is his handle: "montesaur".


So, like, you went to Montessori school, which means like, put the MEN into MENSA? and the "saur"-fix implies that you are "tyrannolicious" in the sack? but you do that self-effacing, "I'm so sensitive, like, I read e.e. cummings and refuse to use capital letters thing"?

Ladies, this jerkoff is one of those guys who, after going down on you for 4.5 minutes, pauses, and looking "soulfully" somewhere near your eyes in his best Lyle Waggoner impression, says "I really enjoyed that" like he's just won the Clean Plate Club Award of the year. And dude, 400 thread count? Count me unimpressed! Oh yeah, thanks for the 411 on Royskopp! I love the "Starbucks Ultra-Lounge Panty-Moistening Salon Magazine Sampler CD", too!

I bet this guy buys the Banana Republic candles that smell like "White."

I bet he pretended to like "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion."



At January 23, 2005 at 4:39 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

I bet he looked at an online thesaurus for some *REALLY* big words to make himself sound more smart...

I'm guessing he is so low, he doesn't qualify to be a douche! ;-)

At January 24, 2005 at 7:40 PM, Blogger Riley said...

Well now, seeing as we have a critic here...I could not help but notice the lack of substance you most recently cried for. Do you honestly consider your coy little ditty of a comment any more amusing than the lyrics comprimising the blog you bestowed your most unwelcome comment upon? I'm sure though that I have gone over your head, for you most likely find it hard to comprehend script with a lack of objectional obscenities. Though, of course, I most likely used a thesaurus to muster this up.

At February 9, 2005 at 6:48 AM, Blogger Ashbloem said...

Forget bastard love-child of kenneth branagh and kiefer sutherland. More like simply bastard.

And that Röyksopp thing is killing me. Lapland? Acid? Reindeer? Oooo! Look who knows so much about Norway! Christ.

At February 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM, Blogger Kender said...

I just read his profile, and I am qualified to comment on it, as I can see through this guys BS...I know because this is grade school BS when it comes to catching girls.

Lemme sum up...what is lower than douche?

At February 11, 2005 at 12:03 AM, Blogger Kender said...

And Riley? Dumbass kid.

At February 17, 2005 at 1:24 PM, Blogger wegglywoo said...

i also eschew capitals, does that make me morally unsound?

i hope not. i'd hate to think that typography was the cause of my ethical and cultural decrepitude.

i read e.e.cummings, too, but it was more a.a.milne who convinced me that Capital Letters are a Very Silly Thing.

At March 1, 2005 at 2:43 PM, Blogger  said...

i heart wegg, she's funny.

i also eschew capitals -- particularly of the midwest variety -- des moines, anyone?


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